There are millions of jokes about lawyers. You know you've heard them. When I was studying for my LSATS I even made fun of some of the jokes myself. (No, I am not a lawyer.) As my career and my life changed directions, so too did my assumptions and stereotypes of attorneys. Most of those attitude changes were favorable.
I met those who practice to defend those who can't defend themselves, some who work for non profits, and a lot who take pro bono cases and causes.
And then yesterday I met the attorney that all bad jokes derive from. I'd be hard pressed to consider a time when I was more offended, shocked, insulted, or had my intelligence, ethics, and gender questioned.
A friend of mine is in the painful process of a divorce. The thing is, it's not one of those nasty, ugly deals where people fight like cats and dogs. She and her partner are lovely people and great parents.
Therefore the average ETHICAL attorney would take the case, draft up the proper documents, charge a fair but reasonable fee and part ways upon receiving final payment.
But not so, Dear Readers Yesterday afternoon I watch my friend get anally-raped screwed out of $300.00 for a consultation. The consultation consisted of the obese, coffee-stained-teeth-showing, polyester shirt wearing pig singing his accolades to us in an effort to be sure we knew he was "worth it." In addition he decided to advise my friend to pretty much not allow her hubby to see the kids unless gross sums of cash were involved.
It took every ounce of restraint to not Minnie his ass. In an effort to respect my friend I kept it in check for almost 10 minutes. At minute 17 we asked the Esquire to excuse himself from his office and decided to bail.
As we approached the reception area he turned to me and said, "I'll tell you what Lady. She's got a lot to learn."
No Sir, YOU have a lot to learn.
My apologies that you chose a profession that ordinarily has you dealing with the scum of the Earth. I apologize to all the children who were shafted out relationships and time with their Fathers because you intimidated their Mothers into letting you represent them. I apologize to every ethical attorney whom reek of shit because of garbage you spew from your noxious mouth.
Finally I apologize that you won't have the opportunity to jack open my Friend's wallet to add yet another atrocious piece of knock-off South Western art work into your already hideous office.
YOU, Fucker, have a lot to learn.
(Image www.bradfitzpatrick.com/stock.../cartoon_shark_01.htm )
5 comments:
I'm truly not surprised, having witnessed my share of family court lawyers for the past few years as a result of my boyfriend's endless drama with his ex. It's sad that the standard and default is to use the kids as moneymakers. What a jackass.
I went through about $600 going to different consultations on my last divorce. One guy (who sounds like that one looks) had the nerve to say I would do better in court if i lost some weight.
Finally found the right one though. Good luck to her.
I wish I were surprised.
If they don't offer free consultations, I don't even give them a shot.
Hell, we picked our lawyer for our custody case solely on the fact that he said f**k in our meeting....our kind of guy. :)
"Minnie his ass" - I love it!
Being that I work in the legal profession, it irritates me that there are attorneys that are like that because THOSE are the ones that give the bad sterotype associated with attorneys. You should have "minnied his ass"!
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